Moving out in my 20s was expensive AF but I regret NOTHING

Moving out in my 20s was expensive AF but I regret NOTHING When I was 20, I decided to move out of my family'sflat and into a room I rented from a friend. It was an extra $700 every month. ANd it hurt my savings rate badly. I had moved out because I wanted some freedom and independence from my dad. Dad had wanted me to pay $500 for rent for living at home. He said it was only fair. He also wanted more allowance from me. Now, that would have been understandable if my dad truly needed financial help. But he didn't. He had prepared early for his retirement and was financially secure - any money I'd be giving him would be purely symbolic. He wasn't going to invest it. He wasn't going to spend it. He just thought money was the only way for someone to demonstrate filial piety. When I refused, he said: "If you're so capable, why not you move out?" I've always liked to think of myself as a capable person. So I said: "Sure thing, I'll move out." Then I packed up all my belongings on my bicycle and rode 18km to my new home. At his home, my dad had power over me. I felt pressured to conform to his sometimes outdated thinking. He wanted me to have an expensive wedding, get a new family car, and have children way before I could afford them. I also had to listen to him rant about how his generation was the best, and ours were weak, spoilt, entitled strawberry generation. These sessions used to last for 20 minutes, but I usually spent the next 2 hours in a bad mood - making me extremely unproductive. One of the best things about moving out? Far less squabbling and much more headspace. I spent those hours writing, reading, learning and relaxing. It was AMAZING. My commute time was also halved. I used to take 45 minutes to ride to work. At my new place, I took just 15 mins. (That's 1 hour saved both ways) But moving out also had other side effects: It made me hungrier. I looked for more opportunities to earn at least $700 a month to cover my rent. (More often than not, these led me to earning more than $700.) I also learnt how much of a slob I was. I procastinated when it came to doing dishes. I ignored growing piles of laundry. And I couldn't iron my shirts for nuts. Overtime, I either learnt to do these tasks or created workarounds for them. (Like wrinkle-free shirts) The process helped me become a lot more disciplined... and creative with housework. More importantly, it made me realise that I Wasn;t as independent as I thought I was. All this while, aside from providing a roof over my head, my family had helped me subsidise all additional living costs. My rent might've cost $700, but throw in internet, food and utiilities, it was something more like $1000 instead. This made me realise that my dad demanding $500 wasn't that unreasonable after all. It was actually a DISCOUNT. Which brings me to the last unexpected side effect. My relationship with my dad actually improved. You see, previously I had to spend time with my dad because I had no choice. Now, I made the conscious effort to come back once a week to spend time with him. I think that helped him realise that filial piety is less about giving money to your parents, and more about quality time spent together. I'll be the first to admit that renting your own place will slow your journey towards financial independence. But let's not forget that financial independence is just one component of true independence. Here's what I think: Coming from an Asian family, we often let our parents dictate our life decisions because we live under their roof. ANd while there are certain advantages, it's also pretty clear how this can hold you back. If I needed to splurge on that wedding, buy that new car, and have children at 25, there's no way I'd be able to have anything saved today. One thing I've learnt: As long as you live with your parents, you'll always have to listen to them. If they're supportive of your decisions, great. If they're not, the only way to escape the need for their approval is to create your own house with your own rules - even if it's just a small rental common room with no ensuite toilet. Because sometimes, an obsolete mindset is more expensive than paying rent. Stay woke, salaryman.